13"Don't look for shortcuts to God. The market is flooded with surefire, easygoing formulas for a successful life that can be practiced in your spare time. Don't fall for that stuff, even though crowds of people do. ¹⁴The way to life—to God!—is vigorous and requires total attention. Matthew 7:13-14 (The Message)

My family will tell you that one of the strange little things I always say is, "I never should on myself." It just means that it’s already done with, and I am moving on. Or that I can choose to do something new but I am not going to beat myself up with "I should haves." Last night I was at home, dinner was done, the kitchen clean, and I was thinking "I should get something done." Although I had been up at 5:15 a.m., worked all day, commuted for just over an hour, and completed other chores, I still felt as though there was something I still should do.

Weary, I stretched out on my bed with my new kitten snuggled beside me and thought about what I should read. I had done my Bible reading that morning (I am reading the Bible through this year in "The Message" version for my 50^th year), so that commitment was fulfilled. My two devotional books had been read, my crochet work on a gift for an upcoming wedding had been added to, and even though my to-do list still had more on it, I was ready to rest.

As I looked over at my shelf of books that I haven’t gotten time to read yet, it occurred to me that I should make a list of all of my unread books so that, a) I quit buying them and, b) I read them all. Lately I have even been thinking of taking public transportation to and from work just to have time to get through some of them. A good portion of my life has been spent reading books or listening to others tell me how to live my life in Christ, whether on the radio, in church, on TV, or at conferences and camps.

Aren’t we just deluged with conferences, speakers, books, videos/DVDs, tapes, journals, devotionals, online sermons, and more? How often do we join the crowd to rush out and buy the newest thing just because someone says their book or tape or theory will guarantee that we will know God better or succeed in some area of our lives? What about those who tell us that they figured out the formula, now we can pray the right way or take a certain type of action that will get us what or where we want with God and life?

Please don’t misinterpret what I am saying: I am not attempting to belittle anyone’s revelation from God or his or her willingness to share what he or she has learned. What I am saying is that so often people in jump on the bandwagon of the new trend and off they go, expecting it to solve everything. Christian books purport to have answers for healing, happiness, a closer walk with God, the recipe for prayer, perfect health, and so much more.

When I look at my own bookshelf, I see the things of which I am afraid, the things for which I seek answers. But they are answers I haven’t searched hard enough for in God’s Word, and for which I have not listened closely enough to God. The whirl and swirl of everyday life and all of the "I should be" doings have made the noise level so high that I wonder if I have gone tone deaf to God’s voice.

So what does my bookshelf hold? Let’s see, books about marriage and relationships. Hmm, guess I’m newly married and nervous. Here I am reading books written by men instead of seeking God first for His solutions and His peace. What else is on there? Books about being loved by God—how many years will it take for me to finally believe and accept that? There are books on men, how they think, and what I should know about them. (OK guys, now that you are done rolling on the floor, we gals really honestly care about you and are continuing our attempts—since the beginning of time—to understand your silences, grunts, and love for sports and channel surfing.)

The thought that finally struck me is that I am really weary of everyone else’s opinion of who God is, how He moves, how He feels, what He does, or what His ways are. I don’t want magic formulas to make Him do what I want Him to do or to an outline of steps to make Him automatically hear my prayers and respond the way I think He should. I don’t want any shortcuts; I don’t want anyone else’s opinion of how I should view God.

Don’t you just want Him? That’s all. Just Him. Don’t you want to hear His Voice? To always be aware of His Presence? Oh how I long to feel His Arms around me. I crave His Wisdom in me, and His Love coming through me. I just want Him. In the silent moments of life, in the frustration, fear, or grief, I yearn for only Him. In the outrageous, silly, joyous moments, the celebrations, the laughter, the moments of new life, the anniversaries and weddings, and memorials of the great things God has done, I long only for Him.

When I hear about the Christian writing industry (and it is an industry) and the conventions and the marketing and all that is involved, I wonder what God thinks of all of these people’s views. Yes, the books and writing and insights are precious and touch lives, but please, there is so much more. Does all of this information compel us to follow the narrow road of life in Him? Does this onslaught of Christian magazines, books, TV channels, movies, and radio provide us an easy way to God? Do we simply proclaim our faith with luxurious "Christian" home decorations or paintings, bracelets, T-shirts, bumper stickers, or other expensive must haves for the PC religious home?

Or do we pursue Him in the narrow, hard way of His Cross and His Suffering, seeking the revelation of His Grace and Mercy daily in a new way? Do we rigorously work at practicing an awareness of His Presence whether we are driving a car, working, preparing a meal, hugging our children, or scrubbing toilets?

So what is the next step? For me it’s not to read a book, or rush to ask someone else’s opinion or listen to someone else’s idea about what I should do. It’s not about practicing a lifestyle in my spare time so I can look good to others. It’s not about following a wide or an easy path that in actuality is making my own way to God.

It’s about a way to life! There is nothing in my life that should ever distract my attention from Him—I want that total focus. Because dear ones, it’s all about Him—nothing else. Him.

Copyright 2005 by Desiree Marrion Pheister

Desirée L.M. Pheister is a member of Eastside Foursquare Church. She is a newlywed, mother of a teenager, a grandmother, and an administrative assistant at a medical research facility. You may reach her at: marrion8955@yahoo.com